Frenemies forever
by Bl4ckHunter
Summary: One-shot crack fic. How much would Felicity and Iris be able to stand each other under one roof?


**Something that occured to me when rewatching _Two and Half Men_. And I often wonder how is it possible that Iris and Felicity are BFFs, when Felicity seems to be jealous of Iris with Barry. Reminder, she was jealous in _Arrow _2x19. A little parody about how Felicity and Iris are friends.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own** _**DC** **Comics **_**or the CW TV shows _Arrow_, _The Flash_, _Legends of Tomorrow_, _Supergirl_ or any other characters or elements pertaining to the mentioned franchises.**

**Hope you have fun**

**With regards**

**_Bl4ckHunter_**

* * *

Barry and Iris were watching TV before Oliver and Felicity entered.

"It wasn't that bad to go to the Tech Village, was it?" Felicity asked as she and Oliver entered.

"Yeah, maybe we can build a better computer for William." Oliver shrugged.

"You know, the tech stuff isn't really my thing, it just kind of puzzles my mind." Iris said.

"Well, it's not your fault, to understand it, you need to have a certain level of education like me, Oliver or Barry." Felicity said nonchalantly.

"Excuse me?" Iris demanded, glaring as she got up. "OK, I _did_ not just hear you say that."

"Say what?" Felicity asked, seemingly confused.

"I have a degree from psychology and long-time experience in journalism, so I have pretty good level of education." Iris snapped.

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to offend you." Felicity said. "All I'm saying is that tech like this is really hard to understand."

Iris seethed, her face turning red. "OK, I happen to work at S.T.A.R. Labs too, so I have pretty good knowledge about technology."

"What, do you write into magazines about how amazing their tech is?" Felicity drawled.

"No, Cisco happened to teach me some things about it." Iris snapped.

Felicity laughed. "Oh, I see, I guess you need a little help from one of my close friends, since…"

"You know what, I think it's getting late, why don't we go to bed." Oliver said, quickly trying to defuse the situation before it would escalate, accompanying Felicity to the bedroom and Barry gave Oliver a quick subtle nod and grateful look, not wanting to see Felicity and Iris fight.

"I can't believe it, how can she insult me like that?" Iris scoffed.

"Well, she does have _more_ experience with tech…" Barry paused as he saw the glare in Iris's eyes. "Although she lacks a lot in social skills." He finished quickly as Iris smiled and Barry gulped.

* * *

"Do you often wonder how is it possible that Iris is a member of the team? I mean, what skills does she have that neither Barry, Cisco, Caitlin or Wells have?" Felicity asked.

"Good question." Oliver nodded.

* * *

"You know what, I wonder if she's good with this." Iris said, faking moan sounds, much to Barry's confusion.

"You want my help…"

Iris moaned even louder. "Oh, my God, Barry!" She said, obviously faking it before Barry realized she was trying to annoy Oliver and Felicity as he covered his ears.

"You gotta be kidding me." Barry grumbled.

* * *

"Oh, no. Two can play that game." Felicity snapped before she started to moan loudly. "Oh, Oliver."

"Oh, come on." Oliver groaned, realizing that Felicity was just trying to annoy Iris and Barry as he put some cotton into his ears, covering them as he tried to sleep instead but he still heard some muffled moaning.

* * *

The following morning, Oliver was making coffee in the kitchen as Barry entered.

"Good morning." Barry said.

"Hey." Oliver nodded.

"You and Felicity were making quite a ruckus last night." Barry said.

"Yeah, you and Iris were having a wild ride too." Oliver pointed out.

"You heard that?" Barry asked.

"Trust me, I tried really hard _not_ to hear it." Oliver nodded as they both sat down, drinking coffee. "I wonder how are you able to run with how flexible Iris is."

"Yeah, I could say the same thing about you and Feli…" Barry sighed. "You know what, I'm not gonna lie, I wish I could say we had very good sex last night but honestly, last night was…"

"A complete bummer?" Oliver finished, realizing Iris was faking it.

Barry nodded. "Iris was trying to prove some kind of point to Felicity."

"And all that noise was…" Oliver trailed off.

"I had nothing to do with it." Barry said quickly. "She doesn't even need me in bed to have some fun."

"Yeah." Oliver nodded. "Although, I can imagine now how it must have felt with Iris when we got switched with that magic book…"

"Dude!" Barry glared.

"Sorry." Oliver said quickly. "Worst sex with Felicity, ever."

"No kidding." Barry nodded before Iris went downstairs and Felicity passed by her.

"Good morning."

"Morning."

"Did you sleep well?" Iris asked.

"Terrific." Felicity nodded.

"I was worried we might have kept you awake." Iris smirked.

"Is that so?" Felicity taunted with a glare and vicious smile on her face. "I could say the same thing about you."

"I slept like a baby." Iris replied.

"Well, I hope you didn't wet the bed." Felicity said before she started to laugh evilly and Iris started to laugh evilly too as they glared at each other like two psychopaths.

"They're laughing. That's good, isn't it?" Barry asked.

"Not _that_ laugh." Oliver shook his head. "That's the_ bad_ laugh." He said, already speaking from his experience with various other girls, realizing that Felicity and Iris were close to killing each other.

"Well, I think we should head back to Star City, so that I can relieve Thea and Laurel of the babysitting duty." Felicity said.

"Oh, so now you ask your friends to look after your stepson? What, couldn't bring him to Central City?" Iris taunted.

"Well, I didn't want to put him in danger in a city full of metas, unlike you, who lets her daughter from the future fight metahumans every day recklessly and also put on her a speed dampening leash like some kind of a Dominator." Felicity taunted.

"OK, you really want to do this?" Iris snapped, rolling her sleeves and about to lunge at Felicity. "Looks like someone's ought to beat some sense into…"

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! No!" Oliver intervened as he stepped up in between and Barry restrained Iris.

"Calm down! Come on!"

"I've had enough of your subtle insults, you little four-eyed minx!" Iris growled.

"I'm not the one in incest with her best friend!" Felicity yelled.

"Both of you, calm down! That's enough!" Oliver snapped.

"No fighting, come on!" Barry insisted. "We're all adults here, now, aren't we?"

"Yeah, I don't have a temper of a five-year old…" Iris sneered.

"OK, now you're dead!" Felicity snapped, about to lunge at Iris as Oliver held her back.

"Felicity, no, calm down! Come on! Barry's right! How about we all calm down and have some coffee, watch TV and relax." Oliver suggested before thunder roared and it started to rain before the lights went off.

"We're all gonna die here." Barry whispered, not wanting to be in a house with Felicity and Iris, who were close to killing each other.

* * *

Barry and Iris were in a bedroom as Iris passed around. "I can't stay in the same house with her. She's so awful."

"First of all, the road's flooded, so I don't think it's a good idea to leave." Barry protested. "And second of all, she's not that awful."

Iris turned to Barry with a glare and Barry could feel himself shrink as the phrase 'if looks could kill' came to mind. "Say that again." Iris demanded slowly and in low but murderous tone.

"First of all, the road's flooded." Barry said, hoping to avoid agitating Iris.

"_After_ that sentence." Iris corrected, her glare intensifying.

"It's not a good idea to leave." Barry said.

"I can't believe you're defending Felicity!" Iris snapped.

"Iris, I… think this is really awkward, two women trapped in a house because of a silly rainstorm, when they can't stand each other…" Barry laughed and Iris laughed humorlessly too with a glare in her eyes, causing for Barry to quickly leave the room. "Bad laugh."

* * *

"She's so awful, I can't even stand her." Felicity muttered. "And how can Barry marry her? They grew up together, this is incest."

"Don't ask me." Oliver shrugged.

Felicity sighed as she checked her purse. "Oliver, can you buy me some tampons, please? I ran out of them."

"Sure." Oliver nodded.

* * *

"You're going out in that weather?" Barry asked as Oliver put on his jacket.

"You want to stay here with pissed off Iris and Felicity?" Oliver asked.

"Barry! The water's leaking in the bathroom!" Iris shouted angrily.

"You know what, why don't I tag along with you?" Barry said, getting up quickly.

* * *

"I could have sped you over." Barry said as they walked down the rainy pavement.

"No, I actually need to talk to you about Iris maybe being too dominating." Oliver said.

"Yeah, maybe. Felicity used to be too but I think she's being fine." Barry said before from above started to pour down upon them flood of water, about to wash Oliver away.

"Oliver!" Barry yelled, as he caught Oliver and he hung onto a pole. Both of them were on the edge of a cliff as they were unable to find ground under their feet, making it impossible for Barry to speed them to safety.

"If I don't make it, tell William I love him! And buy Felicity tampons!" Oliver said.

* * *

In the house, Iris was looking in the fridge as Felicity was drinking and reading.

"What's that?" Felicity asked as Iris was looking at the family photos.

"Dad and Mom." Iris said. "My Mom wasn't there for me, when I was a kid. She was a drug addict and one day she passed out, when I almost got burned because she forgot to turn off her stove. Dad had her committed into a rehab. She did a crappy job as a mom."

"Yeah." Felicity sighed. "My parents sucked too. Dad was a cybercriminal and bailed on us, then he blackmailed my friend and my mom wasn't there for me much either. She had to work her ass off to afford tuition for me." She said sadly.

"I'm sorry." Iris said apologetically.

"Hey, would you mind if I borrow your tampons?" Felicity asked.

"Yeah." Iris nodded. "Come to think of it, I'm hungry. Maybe we could ask the boys, since they're on the way to the mall."

* * *

"Let me go, Barry!" Oliver yelled, hanging onto Barry's hand as he was holding onto a pole and he had no ground on which he could run and speed them to safety.

"No! If you go, I go, Ollie!" Barry shouted before Oliver's phone rang and he picked it out of his pocket and answered the call.

"Hey, Felicity. We haven't gotten to the drugstore yet, we have a little situation here. OK, what kind of ice cream?" Oliver asked before he had an annoyed and suicidal look on his face as Barry looked at him confused. "Seriously, Barry, let me go."

* * *

**It bugs me how quickly Iris and Felicity became BFFs, so this is a little parody on it.**

**Please review and let me know if you have enjoyed this one-shot.**

**With regards**

**_Bl4ckHunter_**


End file.
